Last week, I had a low self-esteem day.
You know those days--you roll out of bed, look in the mirror and are horrified by how you've somehow transformed into a hideous beast overnight. That whole day will inevitably be terrible, and every time someone even glances at you, you shrink back in fear, hide behind a curtain of your hair, and scurry away as quickly as you can.
Okay, it was an extremely low self-esteem day.
The culprit behind this, as usual, was a case of overgrown eyebrows desperately needing to be threaded (post), and a whole posse of bulbous, bright red cystic acne threatening to take over my face. I've said many times before that I never feel more unattractive than when my eyebrows need to be done (I'd rather go out with no makeup and perfectly groomed brows, than a full face of makeup with overgrown brows), but the acne caught me off guard.
My skin is a roller coaster of extended periods of good skin days and then horrendous skin days, and this particular day was one of the worst I'd ever had. It came in the middle of a "good skin" patch, and took me completely by surprise.
But what shocked me more than anything else was just how crappy it made me feel--to know (and see!) so many atrocious bumps on my face that couldn't possibly be ignored. I had gone through plenty of these days during the times of bad skin, but had almost forgotten what it felt like to have something on your face make you feel so vulnerable and insecure.
Is there anything that makes you feel unattractive the way acne does? It's not just the discolored factor, which is easy to conceal, it's the bumpy and strange texture that really causes discomfort. That whole day, I kept stepping back as people were speaking to me (yes, I did!), afraid that they would get too close to the cystic nightmares all over my face.
That day, I was fortunate enough to discover a product that hides (and I mean really hides) even the most unsightly pimple (post on Thursday!), but it didn't make me any less self-conscious.
These feelings of insecurity and discomfort are largely in our heads, of course, as people no doubt noticed my acne, but probably weren't judging me the way I thought they were. But does that make it any less annoying to deal with?
Acne is the source of my insecurities on low self-esteem days, but I know for others it can be facial hair, large pores, discoloration, birth marks or really any "imperfections" we see on ourselves. Apart from concealer, I just don't know how to deal with it, which is where you lovely people come in.
I'm sure we've all experienced a low self-esteem day, so I'm interested to hear how you cope with it. While the obsession over these little things is purely mental, the subject of what we obsess over is physical. Does that mean the only answer is to cover it up with something else physical (makeup), or would total overcoming of these insecurities mean a revamping of the way we perceive ourselves?
And if we need to change our mindset to look past the "imperfections" that are so hugely exaggerated in our minds, exactly how do you do that? Can it even be done, or will we always have a few insecurities holding us back from full confidence?
[Alternatively, if you'd like to project something a little more uplifting, tell me what makes you feel like the most confident and best version of yourself! For me, freshly threaded brows and a good blowout leave me ready to take on the world!]
Please share your thoughts in the comments!