Do Men Notice/Care About Women's Eyebrows?

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

The short answer might be a flat, "No," but for my love of excessive writing and my obsession with eyebrows, indulge me.

Last week, while getting my caffeine fix at Starbucks, some guy tried to pick me up. This was unusual because A) I'm not exactly "picked up" a lot (in fact, it happens pretty rarely, which is a whole different post!) and B) I was a hot mess. It was one of those, "I'm just running out for a minute, so who cares that my hair is in a tangly knot and I'm not wearing any makeup?" moments, but to cap it all off, my eyebrows were probably the worst they'd ever been.

In case you couldn't tell from this post, I love eyebrows and getting mine threaded every two weeks is a cornerstone of my life, as well as what allows me to feel put-together. That may sound strange, but let's not forget that I have extremely thick, bushy, long eyebrows and it doesn't take much for them to look positively savage. When the average girl ignores her brows for a month, they might be a little thicker, or require some tweezing, but when I leave mine alone for longer than three weeks, it's like two caterpillars are taking over my face. It's not just that they're dark and hairy and honestly make me look wild, it's that you can really see where all the hair is growing in. Anyone can definitely tell that they're overgrown and in serious need of some threading and trimming. (I almost think of it as severe muffin-top, and all that fat spilling out is all the extra brow hair that's painfully obvious to anyone). 

Admire everything about this girl, but with a particular emphasis on her beautiful brows!

Now, given that men seem to prefer the "no makeup" look, I can maybe understand why some guy would try to pick up a girl not wearing a stitch of it on her face. And everyone has bad hair days, so I'll write that off too. But I cannot for the life of me understand how any male would try and pick up a girl with hairy caterpillars overwhelming her face (any exaggeration on my part is very slight). 

That might just be me and how much importance I place on my eyebrows. I've often said that I'd rather go out with groomed brows but no makeup than a full face of cosmetics but bushy, untamed eyebrows. Absolutely nothing makes me feel worse about myself than when my brows are a mess--it takes a toll on my self-esteem that only cystic acne could compare to. 

But confidence issues aside, how could that guy not notice? And then I remembered the startling fact that almost every time a man has tried to pick me up, my eyebrows were a mess. There have been a few exceptions, of course, but most of the time, I've heard horrendous pick up lines--remind me to tell you about the guy at Sephora--with wild, bushy brows. Why these men have a knack for picking the days when I'm about to see my eyebrow threader is beyond me, but seriously fellas, could you give a girl some warning?
Who wouldn't kill for those arches?

I know what you're thinking: men are oblivious and you're so uncomfortable with untamed brows that you think everyone notices and stares at them. Which may be true, but only partially so. Back in high school, before I had discovered eyebrow threading and my caterpillars were a raging mess, I didn't think much of them. But when I went to school the day after getting my brows threaded for the first time, almost all of my guy friends said something along the lines of "you look good today." (Which is gold standard as far as compliments from 14-year-old boys go). Ready for the punchline?: not a single one of them could pinpoint what had changed. Some said my face look brighter, some said my face looked cleaner(!), and I think one friend even thought it was my hairstyle. 

I've tested my brother too, telling him to closely examine my face and then running out to the threader's and asking him what's different. Sometimes he's wrong, but he's usually right. Though that might just be a byproduct of living with me for too long, and having to endure endless one-sided conversations on the importance of eyebrows. (Another byproduct might be the fact that he too now gets his brows threaded, though I promised I'd never tell anyone). =)

What gives, then? I think I've concluded that for some men, the difference between groomed and not groomed women's brows is like the magic effect of highlighter. That dewy, radiant glow definitely adds something to the face, but they would never be able to tell what it is. For others, they can see if eyebrows are in need of a little taming, but in typical male form, they don't particularly care. 

So there you have it, my ridiculously long roundabout way of telling you what you probably already knew!

But I really enjoyed writing on this subject, so I'm thinking a second installment needs to be done: What Do Men Think About Their Eyebrows?

It's a more popular topic than you think nowadays, as there's always a man in the salon when I get my brows done. And yes, he's usually fighting back tears because he can't handle the pain while his girlfriend shuffles around in embarrassment. Men are such wimps, eh? =)

I suppose that's another thing you already knew!

Hope you're well!

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